Leylan at Home

Anna in Bernal

I took these photos of Anna last year as I attempted to launch a small business of reselling what I deemed to be “cool” home decor and furniture. The business never took off, but I’m still very happy with the photos.

California

I think these photos look how California feels to me. There is a dark haze over life here. Brazen people on the streets, wildfires, tech bros, kids wearing what we used to wear. It's all so funny for a state that gets glorified for its inclusivity and place-where-dreams-come-true attitude. I've never felt like more of an outsider. A small fish in a big pond. More like an ocean. I'm so insignificant here yet I feel like the windows and shades that separate my personal life from everyone else are basically delusions. There is no privacy here - is there privacy anywhere anymore? I'm exposed and vulnerable with a 2-inch thick suit of armor on me everywhere I go. I don't know that California will ever feel like home.

Adieu

Goodbye to this sweet little apartment that has provided me with a setting for growth. I have learned so much about myself in the past year. I hate to say goodbye, but I can’t wait for the next adventure ahead.

Talia & Elliott +1

Back in Virginia, new family photos.

This is The Post

Five years ago, I met you on a train platform in Berlin. There was never any small talk, no illusions, no lies. Just you and me.

We stood in line for three hours to get into Sisyphos which didn’t really bother me because you were at my side. I embarrassed myself that night. Got way too trashed and stumbled into a cab then stumbled into my hotel room. I couldn’t believe it when you agreed to, and even wanted to, meet up with me the next night for a much more casual hangout. I didn’t understand why.

Just one more epic night at Berghain was enough to change my life forever. To redefine what fun is. To allow me to feel faith. To feel true love. To meet my soulmate.

The fairytale lives on and has manifested into our real lives. I can’t wipe this smile off of my face or shut up about your perfect blue eyes, your impeccable taste in fashion, your ability to make me laugh.

I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. I can’t wait to know you for my whole life.

I always come back to you, Neutral Milk Hotel

Music of my soul, rhythm of my past life, sound of my silence, beat of shadow.

Two Headed Boy Pt. 2:

And when we break, we'll wait for our miracle
God is a place where some holy spectacle lies
When we break, we'll wait for our miracle
God is a place you will wait for the rest of your life

Two headed boy, she is all you could need
She will feed you tomatoes and radio wires
And retire to sheets safe and clean
But don't hate her when she gets up to leave

Love Letter to the PNW

I don’t yet have access to the photos that I had fully intended on pairing with this pinot-strawberry jam of a thought because some live as negatives on film and others live in a compartment of my brain that I lost the key to. Since I arrived on the light side of the country, I’ve made lovers and friends and friends of lovers. I’ve seen varieties of cherries and raspberries that I didn’t know existed and tasted their sweet venom, poisoned and tricked into wanting more. My neighbors have high hedges to keep reality blocked out, others no hedges at all. I no longer lose my breath climbing the Capitol Hill, and I’m a capital “B”, Better Version of Myself. I’m finding the parts of myself that were lost like Tom Robbins’ can’o’beans and sock left behind by lovers in the heat of the moment. The heat of this moment may keep me up at night, but the rain always comes back in the Pacific Northwest.