I look to you with my eyes closed and beg you to wake me up. I'm floating in a sea of salt and my body responds to nothing or no one. I beg you to prop up my back when I can't. I'm floating in a salty sea and no one can lift me up.
Disposable
Talia gave me this disposable camera back in June. I have slowly been using it since then. Some photos are from a music festival in Zurich, Switzerland.
Trump Protest
Last night, I took part in the Anti-Trump protest in Columbus. There are a few key messages that were emphasized during the rally that I tried to capture in these photos:
1. No immigration ban
2. No wall along the Mexican border
3. Trump is unfit for president
4. Climate change and science are not a matter of belief: they are real
5. Women get to decide what they do with their bodies
6. Black lives matter
7. No DAPL/Keystone Pipeline
I am sure I am forgetting some, but I will write more about this later. It was an incredibly moving and inspiring event. I am glad I got to be a part of it.
Parrot
Suburbia inspired pics with Danni
Pipilotti Rist
Went to the Pipilotti Rist exhibit with Talia today. We waited 40 minutes in line and it was totally worth it.
Roller Skate Bday Blast
Went roller skating with some homies for my bday.
Cassandra
Cassandra and I have run into each other in Columbus more times than I can count. We have always vibed, but have never really spent one on one time together. We made today about that, and not to our surprise, we got along extremely well.
Kristin
Kristin is having a BMI reduction contest at work, so we decided to take some "before" photos to compare to after three months.
Fog
Goals For The New Year
Preface: I feel that writing these things down is the first step to commitment. If I have this as a reference, I can hopefully convince myself that these feelings and insecurities have persisted and continue to feel galvanized to make positive changes. The most pressing insecurity that I feel is that I am being shaped into a person who I do not want to be. This can be based on a number of factors. Instagram has become what Facebook used to be for me: A fake world with contrived personalities that deliver a message to nearly strangers before having a real interaction in the tangible universe that WE ALL LIVE IN. I by no means wish to quit taking photos, but this platform does nothing to benefit what I want to be as an artist or who I want to be as a person. IG puts us in constant passive conversations.
The next significant piece that relates to my unstable identity is my environment. I have lived in Columbus for five years now, and have fallen into a circle of people and places that I frequent. I do not dislike these proper nouns by any means, but everything has become KNOWN. "Known" leaves no room for knowing. I do not want my identity to be decided by how I dress, who I hang out with, who I photograph, or where I like to drink beers. Again, I enjoy everything that I just listed, but by keeping my followers informed of these things creates a persona, and consequently, I feel forced into that persona by perception.
Another insecurity that I have finally acknowledged is my mollification of internal battles and an unwillingness to help myself. I have faced some very real reoccurring feelings (such as those I have just expressed) that I have failed to confront due to my daily focus on the issues. I allow the day to determine how I feel rather than consider the frequency of such emotions and make a healthy change for myself.
Here are my goals:
1. Give up Instagram for the entire month of January. Do not look at it AT ALL.
2. Be brave.
3. Drink less.
4. Consume less.
5. Exercise and eat as you know you should.
6. Be less stressed out and stop pulling out your hair.
7. Consider what you want to do after Columbus.
8. Read more.
9. Seek out a humanitarian endeavor.
Denver
Today Solly and I ate some gummies and walked around Denver for a few hours. The entire day has been an emotional and physical trip for both of us. With the dawn of the new year sitting heavy on our shoulders, we hashed out the battles we have faced with in the past year. Specifically, battles fought against our internal dialogues and corrupt politicians, against living too personally or too compassionately, and against time and change. Our only option is to move forward and seek internal strength to combat what we don't like and to utilize what we love.
Solly
Evergreen, Colorado
Hiking today with Talia, Solly, Zoe, and Coco (the dog). Some of these photos were taken by Solly.
Nathan
Yesterday happened with no plan, and it worked out in our favor.
The Cover Story
just had to write this down because I have an idea
Litmas Party
'Twas lit indeed. It feels good to get back into flash photography in a party setting. When I first discovered my love for photography, I wanted to be a party photographer. Nothing is more telling than those candid/wasted/I-won't-remember-this-tomorrow style photos. I will do more of this, I promise.
The Things That I Won't Say
Subterfuge
I feel forced into an equivocal demeanor, in an effort to relinquish any evidence of what lies subsurface. If you peer over the edge, you'll find a canyon, barely visible behind the furtive tricks of the sun and the colors that your mind fools you into believing are there. The cavity is pervasive, with bleak chance of observing the theoretical end. Yet, in that cavity walks a soldier of prevaricative intention. Is the soldier trying to get out or trying to stay in?
I Left Behind Pieces of Me in Germany
Somewhere else isn't here. Someone else isn't me. The books on my shelf are crooked, missing items. They'd stand upright if they were all here.
Nobody's Home (Kyle & Julie)
We took over Julie's parent's future home and made it our giant creative studio.