A color that describes the feeling I have returned to a number of times this week. Small situations bring me out of it. The old man who sat next to me on the bench by the blue lake. The woman who invited me to share drinks with her family under the dark blue sky. The loss of breath while choking on the reflected blue water.
July. This is always a tough month for me. This summer, I can vehemently direct my emotions to the album July by Marissa Nadler, and in particular, the song Firecrackers. Marissa Nadler sings:
Firecrackers burned into heaven on the floor
My attackers, it's me it's me it's me you're looking for
July Fourth of last year, we spilled all the blood
How'd you spend your summer days?
I know better now I don't call you up at night
'Cause baby, your ghost and I have changed
I have a tendency to relate random things that I read, see, taste, etc. into one amalgamated theme. Ayn Rand writes:
"We cannot serve him by making terms with his destroyers."
"I'm not making terms with them. They need me. They know it. It's my terms that I'll make them accept."
"By playing a game in which they gain benefits in exchange for harming you?"
On a separate note, tonight I photographed windows and reflections.
This time zone is diminishing my circadian rhythm to the point of virtual non-existence. I stay up late, sleep until the afernoon, and I'm acting like this is a pattern, but the reality is I've only been here for three days and two nights. Run on sentences, run on sentences, running on coffee, days running into weeks, weeks into months. Stream of consciousness. Sea with sailboats. Seerestaurant on the coast of the city.
I don't really feel like saying much today. Too caught up in a different time zone. Here are some of the photos that I took today in Konstanz/Radolfzell. The graffiti pic is one of my favorite photos I've ever taken.
Day 1 of many in Germany. Honestly, one my favorite activities while traveling is sitting on long train or bus rides and staring out the window. I am able to understand more about a place by watching it fly in front of my face, delivering no words, just thoughts. Germany feels like my dreams. Like stacks and fields of colored boxes decorated with windows and people, visible by incandescent light. I see totems and cows, symmetry and chaos, all sending me that visceral assurance that things will be ok.
I can confidently say that my experience with WWOOF (World Wide Organization of Organic Farms) in Santa Cruz, California was one of the best and most formative of my life. During Summer of 2014, I spent three weeks on Blossom's Farm, living in a trailer in the woods, planting, watering, harvesting, and cleaning every day. Blossom's Farm is owned by beautiful Swiss Carin and her husband Delmar. This farm employs biodynamics (bless you, Rudolf Steiner) which is a method of utilizing soil, minerals, earth, atmosphere, and galaxy forces to maximize crop potential. I look back on this experience with a full heart and remember well four leaf clovers in the meadow, standing on the edge of the quarry, waking up to goats screaming, selling bunnies at our farm stand, and celebrating our last night with wildflower crowns. I shot solely with my thrift store point and shoot and a disposable.
Dehli, Agra, and Jaipur in 11 days with 18 students. Being there made me feel mostly introspective, considering how in the United States we live for pleasure, and in this country, so many people live for survival. The colors and spirit of the country were juxtaposed against the pervasive poverty pouring out of every street and alley on repeat. People bathed in the water that was too unsafe for us to drink. With my mouth closed tightly shut in the shower, I considered how privileged I am to live in a country where I can walk around without fear. Aside from the psychological experience I had, the ancient and historic architecture of this country is surreal. I shot only with my cheap point and shoot and a disposable camera.
This Thursday, I leave for a four month stay in Germany where I will be working as a technician at the Max Planck Institute for Ornithology in Radolfzell. Naturally, I am reflecting on past travel experiences, such as my two month stay in Medellin, Colombia last summer where I studied carbon sequestration in the paramo (aka Colombian wetlands). I embarked on two separate week long trips into the paramo which included a three hour, uphill hike to the cabin, a two hour hike to and from the research area, and miles of walking around the swampy wetlands. On the second trip, I brought an old point and shoot film camera with me. Most of my photos were used to capture the most stunning sunrise I've ever seen.
Julie Julie Julie. Hashtag wow. Julie and I became instant friends. We met for the first time at Columbus' Get Right hip hop dance party. She's been my muse ever since the Columbus Flea circa May 2016. This photoshoot was our first of many together, and was inspired by the 5th Avenue Floral Co that glows bright red and emits grandeur and entitlement as it consumes the street corner during the crepuscular hours.
The idea to combine literature and photos came to me out of blue. I have a tendency to OBSESS over various art media for periods of time. One of my more recent obsessions was Tom Robbins. I like the way he combines imagination and reality where the two are hard to distinguish. Recently, I've been shooting with a 35mm Nikon Fe series (thx Serm), and decided to combine the photos with quotes from some of my favorite novels such as 1985 by George Orwell, Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins, and The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. I tried to incorporate some wit (tried) to create a fake story.
Brian is a relatively new friend of mine and where we are similar in our dichotomy of environmentalism and artistic photography, we differ greatly in a way such that he is technically savvy and detail oriented with his photos whereas mine typically excel in happy accidents. Por ejemplo, on this day, we visited a few somewhat secret magical spots such as a natural waterfall at the end of a constructed, raised path, and a seemingly abandoned quarry, saturated with blue-green water (I'm speculating it's limestone, aka calcium carbonate). The photos that came to fruition for me were created by the combo of a tilt-shift lens and colored lens strap cloth. This began a new photo chapter for me.
To the tune of Dreamin' by Mac Demarco
Nikki Moon and I became friends under a strange circumstance. We could not deny our love for one another, spending our first months of friendship staying up until 4 AM, having sleepovers, sitting in coffee shops, collaborating on artwork, and enjoying one another's company in any setting. Nikki is an incredible artist, and this particular project was a collaboration of sorts. We began with a large sheet of white paper and rolled it into a tube. We shot lights into it to create this other worldly effect. Most of these photos went into a short stop motion.
To the tune of Marea Baja by Ken Griffin
See the post below for the description.
I felt lucky and elated that memorial day weekend. This past year has opened up my heart and soul, catalyzed by new friends and experiences. This particular day was spent with Brian, Adam, Julie, and Nathan. Nathan drove while the rest of us created our own eclectic playlist. We stopped at yellow boxes, yellow flower fields, and a yellow, detritus coated office. Nathan taught me a word back in August: MacGuffin. I can't help wondering what mine is.
To the tune of Mind Bokeh by Bibio
This photoshoot came with a concept for me. Halloween is hella inspiring. Orange pumpkins, bleeding black eyes, and garish gravestones were well suited as physical motifs for what I was feeling. Jared and Danielle, two close friends of mine, worked together to appear as lovers of ambiguous love, ambiguous age, and ambivalent emotion.
To the tune of Third Planet by Modest Mouse
Solly, one of my most abundant faces in my photos, welcomed me into her home in Denver, Colorado to bring in 2016. I rented a wide angle, low f-stop Tamron lens with stunning depth of field and strong bokeh potential. We spent most New Year's Day walking around Rino, drinking bloody beers at a brewery, and photographing her pretty face against the tasteful graffiti and unprescribed color combinations that narrate the city's streets.
To the tune of I Wanna Die by Jolie Holland
Oh, my dear Solly. I love you as family. Shooting with her is effortless and comfortable. I'm most comfortable shooting in darkness, typically with props. The only true concept I had here was the utilization of two branches to create some sort of creature. Most of my photos I find are inspired by Crewdson and his omnipotent words, "I feel very strongly that every artist has one central story to tell. The struggle is to tell and retell that story over and over again in visual form.. and try to challenge that story. But at the core that story remains the same. It's like the defining story of who you are".
To the tune of All I Need by Radiohead
