First Half of 2023
Lost Files
May 2023
Anna 2023
Anna in Bernal
I took these photos of Anna last year as I attempted to launch a small business of reselling what I deemed to be “cool” home decor and furniture. The business never took off, but I’m still very happy with the photos.
Two Family Photos
No Caption for SF
Mexico but not really Mexico
California
I think these photos look how California feels to me. There is a dark haze over life here. Brazen people on the streets, wildfires, tech bros, kids wearing what we used to wear. It's all so funny for a state that gets glorified for its inclusivity and place-where-dreams-come-true attitude. I've never felt like more of an outsider. A small fish in a big pond. More like an ocean. I'm so insignificant here yet I feel like the windows and shades that separate my personal life from everyone else are basically delusions. There is no privacy here - is there privacy anywhere anymore? I'm exposed and vulnerable with a 2-inch thick suit of armor on me everywhere I go. I don't know that California will ever feel like home.
Adieu
Goodbye to this sweet little apartment that has provided me with a setting for growth. I have learned so much about myself in the past year. I hate to say goodbye, but I can’t wait for the next adventure ahead.
Meine Liebe
Jordan, Maurie, Leita, Tina, and The Cabin
Talia & Elliott +1
Back in Virginia, new family photos.
Eric & Pepper Forever
This is The Post
Five years ago, I met you on a train platform in Berlin. There was never any small talk, no illusions, no lies. Just you and me.
We stood in line for three hours to get into Sisyphos which didn’t really bother me because you were at my side. I embarrassed myself that night. Got way too trashed and stumbled into a cab then stumbled into my hotel room. I couldn’t believe it when you agreed to, and even wanted to, meet up with me the next night for a much more casual hangout. I didn’t understand why.
Just one more epic night at Berghain was enough to change my life forever. To redefine what fun is. To allow me to feel faith. To feel true love. To meet my soulmate.
The fairytale lives on and has manifested into our real lives. I can’t wipe this smile off of my face or shut up about your perfect blue eyes, your impeccable taste in fashion, your ability to make me laugh.
I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. I can’t wait to know you for my whole life.
Lately
I always come back to you, Neutral Milk Hotel
Music of my soul, rhythm of my past life, sound of my silence, beat of shadow.
Two Headed Boy Pt. 2:
And when we break, we'll wait for our miracle
God is a place where some holy spectacle lies
When we break, we'll wait for our miracle
God is a place you will wait for the rest of your life
Two headed boy, she is all you could need
She will feed you tomatoes and radio wires
And retire to sheets safe and clean
But don't hate her when she gets up to leave
Love Letter to the PNW
I don’t yet have access to the photos that I had fully intended on pairing with this pinot-strawberry jam of a thought because some live as negatives on film and others live in a compartment of my brain that I lost the key to. Since I arrived on the light side of the country, I’ve made lovers and friends and friends of lovers. I’ve seen varieties of cherries and raspberries that I didn’t know existed and tasted their sweet venom, poisoned and tricked into wanting more. My neighbors have high hedges to keep reality blocked out, others no hedges at all. I no longer lose my breath climbing the Capitol Hill, and I’m a capital “B”, Better Version of Myself. I’m finding the parts of myself that were lost like Tom Robbins’ can’o’beans and sock left behind by lovers in the heat of the moment. The heat of this moment may keep me up at night, but the rain always comes back in the Pacific Northwest.
The VVitch - A Review
I am a self-described, hardcore horror fanatic. People cringe when I tell them that I willingly watch horror alone, at night and still achieve a restful night of sleep. I will watch virtually any horror film but actively consult blogs and peer reviews for recommendations. Because I tend to offer gratuitous reviews to those unprepared to hear them, I figure it is better to start documenting here where those who so choose can read my thoughts and decide for themselves whether the movie is worth the proverbial plunge.
Ah, The VVitch. Mention it amongst hipster crowds and you’ll become an instant part of the club. Mention it amongst horror fanatics, and be ready to talk A24, the Lighthouse, Ari Aster, and why Puritan America is one of the most terrifying eras of our history. I recall reading somewhere that Eggers (who is only 37 years old) hired a costume designer to mimic the same materials that would have been used to design the 17th century garb of colonial America adding a harsh dose of reality to a fundamentally unrealistic film. In addition, he took the time to study what the Puritanical dialect would have sounded like and employed these nuances to the accents of Thomasin and Caleb alike. A facsimile of what we imagine Puritan America to look like, the setting of this film set the stage to feel just familiar enough to hit us in the heart as we watch the demise of a simply American family.
I have seen this film more times than I can remember, but the most recent time, I picked up on some motifs and “Easter Eggs” that I hadn’t noticed before. As a family exiled from society, our main characters are painfully isolated from anyone outside of their immediate circle. This brings me to call out the most cringe-y theme of INCEST. Yes, our least favorite sin to see come to fruition. Our biologically ingrained hatred for this act makes the tone of the Witch uneasy, particularly as we are introduced to the family dynamic in the earlier scenes. We see Caleb stealing glances at Thomasin’s breasts as well as Thomasin removing the blouse of her extremely well chiseled father, William. Thomasin is a paradox as a young girl with big girl problems and big girl appeals. Watching her father come to her defense and cradle her never feels innocent. I call this motif “ambient” horror. You don’t overwhelmingly see a particular action that makes you feel uncomfortable, but rather know that you feel uncomfortable without exact explanation of why.
Now here comes the big question - was Thomasin a witch the entire time? I haven’t fully made up my mind one way or another, but I did start noticing some signs that Eggers may want the viewer to believe she was a witch from the getgo. During the scene where Thomasin and Caleb go out into the woods looking for their baby brother, Thomasin is wearing a seemingly uncharacteristic hat that looks pretty close to what a stereotypical witch wears. Coincidence? Also, during the scene where Thomasin’s baby brother disappears instantly before her eyes, I felt a sense that she was not surprised that he went missing. She didn’t panic or look around, but rather just kept her eyes glued to the empty cradle before her.
What sets this film apart from other contemporary horror counterparts is that it is designed to make us believe what is happening. We are invested in Thomasin and feel her struggle with becoming a pariah from her family both because she is accused of being a witch, but also because she brings an objectively beautiful and womanly presence to a forlorn and unkempt family on the outskirts of society. Like A Clockwork Orange, The VVitch successfully makes us empathize with someone who wavers between protagonist and antagonist, feeling angered by the poor treatment they receive from others. But like Alex, Thomasin may truly be evil afterall. That bout of uncertainty is enough to make even the most advanced horror fanatic uneasy.
The final observation I will make is a reference to other successful films that have come out fairly recently. The “descent to chaos” is a common scene genre that is most notably in Hereditary (entire backend of the movie with piano strings and fires alike), the Lighthouse (in the end we are completely distanced from reality or rather tossed back and forth between it), Suspiria (new version, the final dance with the witches), Midsommar (wild sex scene IYKYK), and of course The VVitch (dancing and flying with other naked witches). I am not sure what to make of this commonality, but I think chaos as a theme is intrinsically horrific.